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You’ve just landed in a new country, and the excitement is already wearing thin. Classes have begun, the city feels foreign, and there’s a creeping question in the back of your mind: Did I make the right decision?
You scroll through your feed and see others living their “dream life abroad,” while you’re still figuring out how to get from your dorm to the market without getting lost. If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone.
You’ve reached your destination, and soon you’re feeling less excited than before. Moving to a foreign country isn’t always as smooth or exciting as it seems in brochures or Instagram pages.
There’s much happiness and beauty in travel content, yet life on the road can mean experiencing loneliness, tiredness, struggling financially, and lots of pressure to stay motivated. It’s a soft, undercover challenge faced by many international students, no matter if they reveal it.
At first, many newcomers to Türkiye, and in particular to Istanbul, often feel cut off from everyone. Preserving memories does not use words we relate to. And if you are dealing with anything that involves a government setup, you're stuck in a loophole.
Even simple jobs like asking for the way, filling your travel card, or finding your way in public offices can make you feel emotionally and physically exhausted.
You might find yourself in the middle of the bustling city, it all moving so swiftly around you, and feel as though you’re stuck in your mind, trying to make sense of your life.
People are skeptical about moving at this stage, and it’s okay that you feel uneasy. Moving abroad is filled with culture shock; it makes you question your identity and feel like you need to be successful from the beginning.
While most agree that change is needed, they usually don’t say that it isn’t a straight-line process. There are many twists and turns in the process.
Starting the conversation honestly as early as we can will help us work through it as a community.
In Türkiye, for example, students from South Asia, the Middle East and Africa often find other cultural barriers on top of these problems. Things such as food, weather, religion and relationships are all a bit different. A lot of students wish they felt appreciated more. Racism is a problem for some. There are also people who feel like they don’t fit in among their own international community.
Yet, no one prepares you for this fact when you move: there’s no need to stress about figuring everything out all at once. Fitting doesn’t happen quickly; it happens after several attempts.
There is little regularity in the process of reorganization. One day, you feel great because you handled ordering a simit like a local. Right after, you’re upset since the post office finished five minutes before you needed it, and you still can’t wrap your head around Turkish paperwork. There’s nothing wrong with that.
What is happening isn’t failing. This is the part in between, the untidy section people often don’t see or appreciate. That section where actual progress begins.
Being surrounded by a language you don’t know can be difficult, but slowly, understanding grows from having to repeat the words or sentences. With help from apps such as Duolingo or Memrise, you will still feel your best when you place an order for "cay (tea)" confidently. Inflation can make everything more expensive, but Türkiye still lets you experience sunset cruises, explore cheap used bookshops, visit museums on a student budget, and get friendly help from locals.
There is a good chance you won’t have lots of friends at first. However, visiting language learning centers, attending university groups or reading in a cafe can help. Constant effort, not always flawless outcomes, helps shape the community.
And when do you begin to question yourself? Keep in mind that everyone else is learning too—they are just going through the process at their own pace. In Türkiye, there is a lot of difference and a lot of kindness.
At times, grief seems too big; then, it brings you focus. It does happen that the system can take its time, and all the documentation can be time-consuming. Your neighbor will come by with some soup when you’re unwell. A stranger might accompany you as far as the bus stop. The security guard will soon become someone who wonders if you’ve had a meal.
Quite a few students and expats privately deal with mental health hardships. There is a lot of burnout, mainly because the culture tells people to keep going instead of resting.
When you’re in Istanbul, you’re racing against the path you thought your life would take instead of aiming to beat others. Keep in mind, this isn’t about competing against anyone. It’s a process. Detours are included in any travel journey.
You shouldn’t feel bad if you aren’t certain about everything. It’s not only the big ones that matter; growth is in knowing your strength to continue after everyone else is gone.
With everyone focused on getting things done reliably, the act of savoring life’s surprises can be really gratifying. If your goals aren’t a good fit anymore, you can move on.
You don’t need to reach any particular goal to justify why you chose to live abroad.
For a period, allow yourself to follow the river’s current. Take time off work regularly. Find someone who seems just as confused as you and talk to them—you might both find it useful.
In the end, we’re all experiencing life together, some pushing themselves, some taking it easier, and some fixing what needs fixing. What’s important is that we don’t make life more difficult for each other.
Being kind is a strategy to work with. Being empathetic is a skill humans use for survival. Humanity is the process used.
So next time you find yourself doubting the path, remember this: you are not behind; you are becoming. And in Türkiye, just like in life, you belong more than you know.
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